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2.
What the Bible says
2.1
The Old Testament
We
need to start with the general teaching from the Old Testament as found
in the Law given by God to Moses:
| Deut
24:1-4 If a man marries a
woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something
indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce,
gives it to her and sends her from his house, 2 and if after she
leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3 and her
second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce,
gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4 then
her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her
again after she has been defiled. |
-
This
is Law dealing not primarily with the causes of divorce but
with the ongoing effects of divorce.
-
The
cause (v.1) – something indecent – seems to suggest some form
of ‘uncleanness' that may be a disease or infection that should
have been made known to the families before the marriage and
which only comes to light afterwards.
-
The
Law here is against there being remarriage to the original man
after such divorce, where the same thing has been repeated.
|
| Mal
2:16 "I hate divorce,"
says the LORD
God of Israel |
|
To
see it more clearly, we need to see what follows on:
| Mal
2:13-15 13
Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You
weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings
or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, "Why?"
It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and
the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her,
though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
15 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are
his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard
yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of
your youth. |
- They
wept because God seemed to disregard them. They asked why. v.13,14
- The
answer is because of their unfaithfulness – breaking the marriage
covenant v.14
- Who
was 'the wife of your youth' ? v.15
- Surely
Israel , the called out people, called to be a holy people in
relationship with the Lord.
- Yes
this is a spiritual context – see also v.11
- Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves, by
marrying the daughter of a foreign god.
- The
cry against them is because they have broken a covenant.
- What
does God seem against? The breaking of a covenant or agreement!
|
King
Solomon also had understanding of this when he wrote:
| Prov
2:16,17 It will save you also
from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words,
who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she
made before God. |
- Marriage
is seen as a covenant (agreement) made before God.
|
The
prophet Ezekiel also used such language:
| Ezek
16:8 when I looked at you
and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of
my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn
oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign
LORD, and you became mine. |
-
The
language of marriage is also the language of relationship between
God and His chosen people.
-
God
holds covenants in high esteem, not to be broken.
-
Why?
Because a covenant is a promise to be kept and is a means
of establishing stability, an environment for continuing the
human race - he was seeking godly offspring Mal 2:15
– children with God's blessing on them.
-
God
cannot bless sin and the break-up of a marriage always involves
sin.
-
There
is:
- thinking
less of your partner, demeaning them,
- not
going to God for help when it is needed (which is godlessness),
- not
getting the grace of God to help bring change,
- deceitfulness
if the heart is given to another,
- adultery
if the giving is physical to another,
- lying
to cover up what is happening.
-
In
all these ways there is going contrary to God's decreed will,
His design for human beings.
|
2.2
Jesus' Teaching in the New Testament
| Mk
10:2-9 2Some
Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for
a man to divorce his wife?"
3"What
did Moses command you?" he replied. 4They said, "Moses
permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away."
5"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you
this law," Jesus replied. 6 "But at the beginning of creation
God `made them male and female.' 7 `For this reason a man will leave
his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will
become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore
what God has joined together, let man not separate." |
-
Question
1: Is it all right to divorce?
-
Question
2: Why did Moses permit divorce?
-
Answer
1: Moses did permit divorce to occur.
-
Answer
2: Divorce should only happen if one or both partners have so
hardened their heart against reconciliation that it proves impossible.
-
i.e.
Yes, but that's only because of your hardness, says Jesus.
-
NOTE:
Divorce was an accommodation to human weakness and was used
to bring order in a society that had disregarded God's will,
but it was not the standard God had originally intended, as
v.6-9 clearly indicate. The purpose of Dt 24:1 was not to make
divorce acceptable, but to reduce the hardship of its consequences.
-
TODAY
we who are Christians are God's people and our intent must be
to seek to do God's will (Mt 6:19 ).
|
| Mk
10:10,11 10 When they were
in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He
answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another
woman commits adultery against her. |
- A
bland statement that simply getting rid of one wife and marrying
another is adultery – you've broken the covenant and are committing
a sin.
- Note
that it is probable that it is the intent of the heart, which
Jesus always showed he was most concerned with, is covered here.
Jesus is simply saying, if you go by the letter of the Law of
Moses to get rid of your present wife, in order to get married
to another woman, that is adultery. Don't use the Law to excuse
your bad behaviour!
|
| Mt
5:31,32 31"It has been
said, `Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate
of divorce.' 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife,
except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress,
and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. |
- Teaching
1: Divorce must be done decently according to the Law.
- Teaching
2: The only reason for divorcing a partner is their already
(continuing) unfaithfulness.
- Teaching
3: If you push her away for any lesser reason (e.g. you're fed
up with her or want to get another woman), you'll be pushing
her into a relationship apart from her existing one which should
be life-long and you make her enter into another relationship
which is thus adultery (i.e. she shouldn't have to leave the
present one – so don't make her [implied])
- Teaching
4: [implied] If there is ongoing unfaithfulness, she's already
committing adultery and if nothing can be done to change that,
then divorce is legitimate.
- NB.1.
It doesn't say you HAVE to divorce – it is permissive, not mandatory.
- NB.2.
In the light of the Mk 10:5 and Mt 19:8 teaching about hardheartedness,
divorce only proceeds if neither of you can get help and grace
to repair the situation, i.e. if you are so hard-hearted that
you can not receive help and counsel and will not respond to
that.
- As
the note above says, it was not what God originally intended.
|
2.3
Wider Teaching from the New Testament
| 1
Cor 7:10 ,11
10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife
must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must
remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband
must not divorce his wife |
- The
apostle Paul was teaching the early church at Corinth in what
was probably a difficult time of persecution (v.26 Because of
the present crisis) and in a society that was highly permissive
(hence v.1 alternative rendering - "It is good for
a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”)
- He
continued in v.2: “since there is so much immorality, each
man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.”
i.e. getting married is better than being unable control
yourself (repeated in v.8,9)
- Then
he comes to the two verses above. Note there is no mention of
fault or cause here. The implication may possibly suggest simple
marital breakdown (hence be reconciled ).
- In
the following verses he says in a case of believer-unbeliever
married relationship, that should not be a cause for divorce.
- Although
he later goes on inferring persecution, he is clearly for marriage
and where there is any form of breakdown the point he is making
in verse 11 above, is that if she leaves it is to remain single
and seek for reconciliation
- IMPLICATION/SUGGESTION:
Where there is marital breakdown, the first thought should not
be to divorce but to work towards (maybe over the long-term)
and for reconciliation.
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